


April's Fools

by werelocked



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, let them be happy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18328535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/werelocked/pseuds/werelocked
Summary: Klaus's brilliant idea to prank his siblings on April Fool's day completely backfires - or does it?





	April's Fools

**Author's Note:**

> I read a fic a while ago that inspired this idea, that became a fluffy ridiculous mess  
> All of my sappy feelings about season two were also channeled into here

“We should tell the others we’re fake dating,” Klaus said, pressing kisses along Diego’s neck. “As a joke. For April Fool’s.”

Diego took a deep, shuddering inhale. Klaus’ curls tickled against his jaw. “B-but we _are_ dating.”

Klaus pulled away and looked down at him with half-lidded, warm green eyes. “Yeah, _we_ know that, but nobody else does. So why not have a little fun, telling them all wild stories about why we have to pretend and watch everyone squirm?”

“So you want a trial run. Tell everyone we’re dating so you can see how they react, but still have an out if anything goes south.” Diego surmised.

A flash of uncertainty crossed Klaus’s face so quickly, he could have thought he imagined it if he didn’t know better. Klaus lowered his weight back down, pinning Diego against his bed. “Come on. You know you want to mess with Luther.”

Between that concept and what Klaus did next with his tongue, Diego couldn’t really argue.

 

“Eudora’s been trying to set me up with Detective Beaman again, so I told her I was dating Klaus.” Diego was so relieved his voice didn’t shake. His stutter was usually more pronounced when he was nervous.

Though this initially started as Klaus’s plan, Diego could see the value of the experiment. It was a safe way of running the idea of them dating past their family and gauging their reaction. Though Diego had his differences from Luther and the others, he couldn’t pretend he didn’t value their input. He hoped it was positive. Neither of them were prepared for the worst, though he knew nothing would change his mind about Klaus. He hoped Klaus felt the same way.

Allison’s eyes lit up. She sat up straighter in her spot next to Luther on the living room couch. “How did Klaus respond?”

“Oh, he thinks it’s hilarious. Follows me every time I go down to the police station now and puts on a show of ‘staking his claim’ in front of Beaman.”

“Why did you pick Klaus?” Luther looked confused.

Diego shrugged. “I panicked. Blurted out the first name I could think of. It’s great Klaus went along with it, Beaman’s a nice guy I didn’t know how to turn him down.”

“Yea, I’m so sure Klaus did it out of the kindness of his heart.” Allison said wryly. Luther rose from the couch, and Diego’s mouth went dry.

He put one hand on Diego’s shoulder and gave it a single pat. “I’m happy for you.” He headed out in the direction of the kitchen.

“But it was a joke?” Diego trailed off. Now he was the one confused.

Allison followed after Luther, turning at the door to throw Diego a quick wink.

 

“Five bet me twenty bucks I couldn’t keep a boyfriend for longer than three weeks.” Klaus informed Vanya later during lunch. Grace set a plate of lemon chicken with potatoes in front of him. He dug in eagerly, though never once letting go of Diego’s hand.

Vanya watched them with a soft, delighted smile.

“It’s not real,” Diego told her. Klaus made an indignant sound and used their joined hands to cover his mouth. He pretended to scan the room to see if Five had somehow overheard and Diego pressed a kiss against his palm.

Immediately Vanya’s smile faded. “It’s not?” Grace froze in the middle of passing her a plate.

Guilt washed over him. He caught Diego’s wince and knew he too felt bad for lying. He wouldn’t look at Grace. “Diego’s just helping me out.”

Vanya didn’t reply and they changed the subject. She kept sneaking glances at them, confusion and worry swirling in her eyes. Grace sat with them, smiling placidly.  Klaus decided he’d have a talk with Diego that night. He doubted there would be any protest on letting Vanya in on their little secret.

 

“Nice April Fool’s prank.” Patch said, not looking up from her paperwork.

“Why do you think it’s a joke?” Klaus demanded, sliding an arm around Diego’s shoulders.

They actually hadn’t meant to involve the detective. Given how nosy their siblings were - meaning Allison - they figured it was a good idea to fill her in, in case any of them went digging for information.

Klaus could tell Diego already loved it, going out and being together in the open. His eyes kept lingering on wherever they had contact, and Diego’s smile was sweet.

“Because you have more sense than to date Diego, even as a joke.”

“No, I don’t!” Klaus gasped, offended. He pressed a sloppy kiss to Diego’s cheek. “Everything finally made sense when I started dating you.”

“Disgusting.” But she couldn’t quite hide her smile. “Get out of my office before I arrest you for public indecency.”

“Well if we’re going to do the time, might as well do the crime.” Klaus moved to climb into Diego’s lap. Patch reached into a desk drawer to pull out her taser and Diego shot out of his seat, pulling Klaus behind him, giggling the whole way.

 

They knocked on Ben’s door next. Well, Diego knocked against the door Klaus had already swung open.

“Ben! Do I have a story for you!” Klaus bounced in place, preparing to throw himself into the next wild story.

“I don’t care.” Ben said bluntly.

Klaus immediately started sulking. “Oh, come on, don’t you want to know? It’s a thrilling tale of suspense and intrigue, starring me!” Despite his best efforts, his would-be audience remained unmoved. “Lives are at stake here!”

Ben raised one eyebrow. “Lives are depending on you dating Diego?”

“Fake dating.” Diego corrected.

“I don’t care.” Ben said bluntly. Ten minutes of Klaus refusing to leave later, Ben narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t hurt Diego. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but if you hurt him, real or fake, it’s not a game you’ll win.”

Klaus spluttered. “What if Diego hurts me?”

“Shit happens.” Ben shrugged.

 

They took a break in Diego’s room to reconvene before their grand finale. Five would be at dinner, rounding out the short list of people whose opinions mattered to them.

“It’s going pretty well, I think.” Diego sat up against the headboard. Klaus splayed across the bed, resting his head in Diego’s lap.

“Yeah, everyone’s been supportive so far. Depending on how Five reacts, we can tell the truth tonight.”

“We need to come up with something really good.” Diego mused. He absently played with Klaus’s hair. “Wanna go out with a bang before the big reveal.”

“I’ve got it the perfect story.” Klaus hummed, content. “Do you trust me?”

Diego pulled on a curl. “I think you know the answer to that.”

“It’s nice to hear.”

“I love you.”

Klaus responded with a kiss. They didn’t have a chance to progress much farther before Grace called everyone for dinner. Diego wove their fingers together and tugged him off the bed, but he pulled back before they exited the room. He tugged Diego into his arms and nuzzled against his neck for a brief moment.

“I love you too, D.”

They didn’t let go of each other’s hands until just outside the dining room. Ben already sat next to Five, so they sat across from them. Luther wandered in next, then Allison and Vanya arrived.

Grace passed out plates of roasted duck with a side of lentils. Klaus waited until everyone was served and she sat down and took a breath. He hoped the nervous energy inside him would help sell his performance.

“You guys are not going to _believe_ what happened to me and Diego.” Klaus announced. “So, we were out at dinner at this restaurant, a real fancy place having a grand old time. Suddenly, I remember. I don’t have a wallet. I ask Diego, and _he_ doesn’t have a wallet. I mean, where would he keep it in that leather ensemble of his?”

So far nobody reacted. Vanya politely nodded along as she chewed while the others gave no signs of paying attention.

“So I’m thinking, time for another fake dating plan. This one _has_ to be big, we needed a way out of paying the tab and avoiding dish duty for the next year of our lives-”

“Wait, what do you mean by ‘fake’ dating?” Luther interrupted.

“You mean like the story you told us about Detective Patch setting you up?” Allison asked.

Vanya raised her eyebrows and shot a glance at Five. “But you said there was a bet-”

Klaus waved them off dramatically. “So this waiter’s coming over to the table when Diego gets this idea, because he just _so_ clever.” He batted his eyelashes and glanced at Diego for support, but his eyes were firmly on the table. “So out of nowhere, he gets down on one knee-”

“Liars.” Five said. “You’ve been boning for months.”

Diego choked. Klaus gaped. “How _dare_ you accuse us of such a vile thing? The lying, not the boning. Because believe me, if I was lucky enough to see Diego’s boner I would never shut up -” One withering look from Five shut him up.

“How the hell did you know?” Diego asked.

“You’re not subtle. Neither of you stays at the house without the other, you give each other sappy looks when you think nobody’s looking, and you arrive at family dinners exactly ten minutes apart, because you drop Klaus off up the street so it doesn’t look like you rode from Diego’s together. Plus, half the time you both have a weird sex glow.” Five ticked off methodically.

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are.” Allison chimed in.

Klaus sat back in his seat, for once out of theatrics and bravado. Diego rubbed his thumb against the back of his hand. “Does it bother you?”

Luther rose from his seat and left the room. Tension crackled in the air the longer nobody said a word. After an unbearably long time Luther returned, holding a large covered serving platter. He sat it on the table in front of him and Diego, uncovering it to reveal a cake. A lumpy, sunken vanilla cake, held together by dark blue icing. A sloppy black umbrella was drawn in the center.

“I didn’t get it was fake in the first place.” He admitted, ears turning red.

Vanya smiled at him. “I didn’t understand it either.”

Klaus couldn’t speak, another first for him. For what it was worth even Diego couldn’t tease Luther either.

“Are you going to stare at it all day or can we eat it now?” Ben rolled his eyes. Grace went for plates and coffee cups, per Five’s request. Nobody left the table until the whole cake was gone.

 

After dinner, they went to Diego’s room. This time they didn’t have to split up and have one of them sneak in later.

“That went _so_ well.” Klaus gushed, flopping all over his bed again. “Though I’m a little bitter Five saw right through us, that little -”

“I didn’t like that story we told Five.” Diego cut him off.

Immediately Klaus looked worried. “Why? It worked out, everyone was really happy for us. Even if we lied to them a little bit.”

“That’s just it.” Diego kneeled by the bed so he could be eye level with Klaus. “When I give you a ring, it won’t be for a bet or a joke. But it’ll be one hell of a story.”

Klaus sniffled. He scanned over Diego’s position, practically on one knee already. “You gonna give me a ring, Diego?”

Diego crawled onto the tiny bed and they curled up easily together. “You know what the best part of today was? I loved being able to show everyone I loved you.”

“It felt so good to not be careful, to touch you and hold you and feel your lips on my skin.” Klaus agreed.

“So it’s official.” Diego raised his eyebrows, and Klaus knew that was his way of answering his question.

“It always was.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated entirely to the kliego discord thanks for being a hot mess, and thanks for being wonderfully supportive


End file.
